Shnorky's Story
by Krin
Summary: The tail heh of Jak’s crocodog! Where did it come from? Why does it disappear at random points in the game? Does anyone even like it?


**This was a fic for Eva's Non Romance Challenge on DarkMistress950's site. The requirements for the fic were that it had to explain Jak's crocodog, where it came from, why it wasn't in most of the game, and had to use three vocab words. Stars to anyone who can guess what they are. Ta daa!  
The plot doesn't exactly reflect the game's plot, but give Shnorky a break, he's old. Or sue me. You won't get any money, but I'll laugh if you try.  
Enjoy!**

* * *

"C'mon, grandpa! Tell us your story!"

"Yeah! How you killed all those big, mean ol' Metal Heads!"

"Ripped their heads off! Pulled their eyes out! Smashed their skull gems in! And ate their evil intestines filled with evil doomy screaming vile dark eco yuckyness!"

"Eww! Grandpa! Gork is being gross!"

The old crocodog laughed and sank deeper into the mud. He eyed his plate of wriggling flob snails, picked up the biggest one, and sucked the meaty animal from its shell. "Well," he started.

"Get your big head out of the way," Gork shoved his sister into a cattail. "I wanna hear Grandpa."

"GORK PUSHED ME!" Milly howled and flexed her paws. "He broke our armistice! I'm gonna get you!" She bit the cattail off and held it in her jaws, a menacing look in her beady eyes.

"Ahem!" Shnorky cleared his throat. "No more of this bickering! Do I have to tell your mother about this?" His two crocodog grandchildren stared up at him expectantly. "If you want to hear the story, you're going to hear it from the beginning."

"Oh, croc," muttered Gork, staring into the mud. "I hate the beginning."

"Shh! It's a nice story," said Milly. She turned and wagged her tail. "I like it, Grandpa."

Shnorky pulled another screaming flob snail from its shell. "It all started years and years ago, before the Great Slime Riders came from the east, before the Massive Domed Mud Creatures bowed their heads, before the sun hardened the Muck Canyons." He stared down at his plate thoughtfully. "Before this, our Swamp Land, was given to us, there were fabulous beings."

"The Precursors!" said Milly.

Gork rolled his eyes. A dragonfly buzzed around his neck and he snapped it with his tongue. He chewed it and opened his mouth, hoping Milly would scream at its tiny mangled body, but she was watching Grandpa.

"Yes, the Precursors. They were tall creatures. They did not enjoy the mud." Grandpa picked up a bit of it and dipped a snail in. "They did not enjoy the swamp gas." He took a deep breath. "And they did not have scales."

"No scales!" breathed Milly.

"Long ago, before the most ancient Moss Backed Swamp Monster can recall, these Precursors roamed the many islands of our Quadrant." Grandpa paused, squinting up at the thin trees. "They had great cities and farm areas, museums and temples-"

"and all of the rest of the Precursor junk," said Gork. "C'mon Grandpa, get to the interesting part."

"All in good time, my pup." Grandpa patted Gork's slimy head. "Now, the Precursors had everything they could ever want. What they couldn't find, they made. But one day, they realized there was a terrible emptiness in their hearts. They loved each other, but they ached for something more."

"Companions!" squeaked Milly.

"That's right. The greatest Precursor of all, whose name not even the Prehistoric Flurble Stock can remember, and therefore is known as We-Don't-Know-His-Name, took the body of a dog and the body of a crocodile, and merged them." Grandpa beamed down. "And our race was born. The crocodogs! Fierce when provoked, gentle when loved. We scampered under their feet by the hearth, or swam into battle with them. We were the epitome of blood blending- retaining the strength of our crocodilian ancestors." He snapped his teeth, or rather, those that remained. "And the obedience of our dog forefathers."

"Yeah, yeah," muttered Gork.

"We loved our masters! They gave us some of their Gifts; speech, intelligence, thought. They taught us the evils of the world, the Hora Quan, the Metal Heads. Countless times in the myths we see mighty Precursor Generals being saved in the heat of battle by his crocodog. We learned the taste of the Hora Quan's skin, the smell of their vile stench. The Precursors taught us these things well, so that even you." He patted Milly. "Would recognize one of those vile creatures from a standard away, generations later. After centuries of companionship, Mar banished the last of the Metal Heads and the crocodogs were let free, into this place. Our home, the Swamp Lands." Grandpa finished off his flob snails and took a bite of the plate. "I am the direct ancestor of Mar's own crocodog, Yarg the Mildewy." Grandpa pushed out his chest and grinned. The pond weed stuck between his teeth waved in the gentle sulfur breeze. "Back when I was scarcely a pup," he thumped Gork's side, "about your age, the Aged One Squishy came to our mud shack and announced that I was Chosen, special, by our founding father, We-Don't-Know-His-Name, to charge once again into battle with our ancient enemies."

"Finally!" Gork squelched into the mud, holding up his chin. "What did you think of that, Grandpa?"

"I thought it was swell!" Grandpa finished off his plate and started chewing on an after dinner stick. "I was like you, Gork, sick of the boring chores of home and the boring swamp waters and the boring way the swamp waters churned, especially at night, when it's the most boring, and the boring way that the gleep birds flew off when we disturbed their roosts, and the boring way that the marsh herons spear the twiggy fish, speaking of which, one time I met a twiggy fish who asked to borrow an orb or two. I don't think I ever got them back." His eyes were distant. "Or the boring way Momma prepared our slug dinner, or the boring way in which it was set on the floor for us, or the boring way the sun rose into the sky and fell back down again, and the boring way-"

"Grandpaaaa!" whined Milly and Gork.

"What?"

"You're droning again," said Gork.

"Really?" Grandpa looked around, stunned. "I had no idea. Sorry. Where was I?"

"You had just found out that the enemy was back in Haven," prompted Gork.

"Oh, that's right." Grandpa nodded. "We had word from our Water Slum scouts that the Metal Heads had regrouped. We watched them carefully for about two years. During that time, there was a terrible uprising in the CrocoCouncil. Half the members wanted to return to the Precursors, half wanted to stay home, and the other half wanted to play Swamp Buggy."

"Grandpa, you can't have three halv- ow!"

Gork gave his sister a warning glance.

"My father, your great grandfather, Sloggy the Smarmy, was one of the members who wished to return to battle. He was delighted when I was chosen to go back On Land and help the Precursors." Grandpa rubbed his arthritic shoulders. "There was a great feast and a wonderful journeying party the night before, but I was really too young to appreciate it. The next day, the scouts escorted me through the ends of the Swamp Lands, under the Tunnels of Decay, and into the Precursor Water Slums. They dropped me off at the edge, where the water meets the land. I was given only one assignment; protect the boy." Grandpa trailed off and stared into the fading sunset. A few gleep birds gleeped.

"Well?"

"Oh yes, right. I thought that was a terrible bit of advice, really, because at the time I didn't know what a boy was. So I wandered the city-"

"What was it like, Grandpa?" asked Milly excitedly.

"Horrendously dry. The ground below was dust, and everywhere, the Precursors walked. They were nothing like what I had heard in the myths. They were tall, sure, but they didn't radiate that special magic you always hear about. They were mean, kicking me aside and pushing me around with their dry feet. I got dust lung within a few days."

"So how did you find the boy?" asked Gork.

"I was wandering through the city, always listening. I tried to find shade during the hot days, and once found a lovely set of fountains, but I was chased out of there pretty quick by some of those Big Red Precursors you might've heard about."

"The ones with the," Milly's voice dropped to a slimy whisper, "guns?"

"Yes, those very same. They had hard skin, harder then our scales, but they weren't scales. Much too big. They prodded me with their guns until I got out of the fountain. They kicked me around, and I ran and ran. It was lucky, I guess, that soon enough I smelled the Metal Head."

Gork and Milly stopped rustling the swamp leaves between their gunky toes and listened.

"This smell," Grandpa lowered his head, "was the most vile thing I had ever smelled. I knew it right away, though I'd never smelled it before. It was worse than the compacted air wrenched from the rear end of a Blug Beast. It was worse than the gargling spew of the Anal Rat. It was worse than your Grandmother's cooking."

The grandpups gasped. In the background, Grandma screamed, "hush yerself, Shnorky! Why I ever got involved with you, I can't remember. My mother told me, 'Maglar, if you unite yourself with that wart bellied arthropod...'"

Grandpa continued on. "It was a thin yellow stench line, and I followed it carefully. I walked for a long time. The Precursors built a huge city. Bigger than the Swamp Lands, even. I walked and walked until the stench became so bad I could barely stand it. I had to plug my nose with pieces of trash I found in the streets. Then I walked some more, my slime glands dry and my eyes stinging. At last I found it." His eyes narrowed.

"Was it one of the big ones?" asked Milly, though she knew the whole story by heart.

"No. It was far, far worse. It was disguised as a Precursor. The blasphemy!" Grandpa spat into the corner. "It was holding a smaller Precursor's hand. Through my nose plug, I could smell the little one. It smelled friendly and clean. So I walked up to it and rubbed my face on its leg, our official greeting and salutation."

"What did the little Precursor do?"

"It looked down at me and smiled. It pet my head. It was very friendly. The Metal Head didn't like me at all. It tugged the little one away from me. I followed them for a long time, and once or twice the Metal Head called the little Precursor a boy." Grandpa tilted his head. "Actually, he had another word that he used, too. It's like our word 'pup.' I think it was... kid! That's right. That's when I knew I had found the boy. The Metal Head had other Precursors call it 'Kor.' And that's when my lukewarm blood bubbled."

"That's the Metal Head leader's name," said Gork.

"That's right. I was afraid, but I followed the Kid and Kor until they came to a wall, and they disappeared. I didn't know what to do, so I hunkered down in a corner and waited." Grandpa shivered slightly as the night air began to cool. Meretricious Gutter Bugs flickered by, flashing their flirty wings and trailing pheromones and light. "The next things that happened may not have happened in the order that I tell you, because my brain is going soft. But I'll try to remember it as best as I can. After a while, the Kid wandered out of the wall. He tottered over to me- a curious way the Two-Legged walk, I'll have to show you in the morning- and pet my head. I licked his face. I tried to warn him about the Metal Head, but alas. The Precursors long ago had trained us to heed their calls, but never bothered to learn how to heed us. I tried again and again, but he stood up and tottered off."

"And you followed him, right, Grandpa?"

"Right. Now, here is where it gets fuzzy." Grandpa squinted. "I recall a Precursor, much shorter than Kor was pretending to be, walked up to the Kid. He was very surprised. I growled at him. All I knew were my orders; protect the boy. Or kid. Protect the kid. So this other Precursor snatches his hand back. I was a very ferocious pup. He talked to the Kid, who never made a sound. He said his name was The Shadow, and he had come to save the Kid. The Shadow tried to kick me away, but I always followed. I barked, trying to warn them about Kor. The Shadow rolled his eyes and yelled at me, but I kept trying to warn them. Finally, we came to another hole in the wall, and this time, I ran in with the Kid. There were other Precursors there. Tall male Precursors. They weren't friendly, like the Kid, but they weren't vile smelling either. I decided to keep an eye on them all. The Kid always stayed with me. I tried to tell him what was going on; the Metal Heads were invading their city and Kor was their leader."

"But they didn't listen, did they?"

"No, Milly. They didn't. I guess I couldn't hold it against them, because they weren't educated. They couldn't understand me." Grandpa shook his head slowly. "Now then." He thought some more. A few stars poked out of the darkness overhead. "I always stuck with the Kid. Everywhere I went, I bit and barked and tried to find a Precursor who would listen. There were a few promising ones, but no one understood. There were two events that I remember very clearly, though. They both involved my Master. Jak." Grandpa bowed his head.

"Jak," echoed his grandpups.

"Yes." Grandpa's eyes misted over. "He was a very kind Master. I stayed for a while in the city, but eventually I had to return home. The Swamp calls her pups back, you know."

Gork waited in the splurshy silence as long as he could. "Grandpa," he said finally. "What do you remember?"

Grandpa's face brightened a little. "We were in the wall, with The Shadow and Jak. The Shadow told Jak to take the Kid and I to another Precursor. The Kid tottered out and Jak followed, shooting the Big Red Precursors that tried to stop us. There was so much excitement going on I didn't have time to sniff Jak; I had to trust him. I barked at the Red Precursors and even bit one! It was terrifying; gun shots and kicking legs everywhere. I stayed near the Kid, guiding him to an abandoned vehicle. Jak realized what I was doing and we all got in. We flew to another part of the city, then got out again. Jak had to shoot more of the bad Precursors, until we ran up a metal ramp and into the second place I remember."

"Which was?"

"A very blue place, a round room filled with light and blinking buttons. Kor was there, as well as the Kid, Jak, and Daxter."

"The annoying rat?" asked Milly.

"Yes," said Grandpa. "He was very irritating, but always polite to me. I think he was the one who could've understood me best, if he had ever shut up." Grandpa abandoned his after dinner stick and picked a fresh one from the sludge. "Actually, Daxter was with us when we ran through the streets. He used to perch on Jak's shoulder, like the gleep bird on a tree. He wasn't much help in battle. Anyway, Kor was feeding them more lies. This was when I finally recognized Jak's smell. Friendly and clean. A lot like the Kid. So I gave him our greeting as well. Kor noticed this, and made some stupid remark, I expect."

"Expect?"

"Well, I don't really remember."

"Ah."

"I bared my teeth at Kor when he pointed at me. The Metal Head droned on and on while I chased the Kid around. Finally, I thought of a brilliant plan! A plan which would finally communicate my dire information to them. I lifted my leg and fouled up the Metal Head's walking stick. Jak laughed, to my surprise. He didn't suspect anything, though. Ah well. At least it had irritated the Metal Head."

"Then what, Grandpa?"

"Then." Grandpa groaned and leaned back. "Hmm... what then? The Kid was exchanged from Precursor to Precursor, and I went with him. I was glad, he was never in the care of Kor again. The Kid and I went everywhere in the city, always careful never to anger the Big Red Precursors. Countless times I led him away from danger. Every once in a while I had to drag him away from the other Precursors. We went to the Water Slums and I told the scouts what was happening. And they told me the horrible news; the Metal Heads were planning an attack on Haven! The Kid was good, he never tried to run away from me. But he was so curious, always getting into trouble. I was there to keep him from falling into the Port, or from being snatched by strangers. Once he was about to go underground! I tugged him up by the back of his overalls and gave him a stern barking." Grandpa smiled faintly.

"Was he afraid of you at all, when you had to yell at him?"

"I don't think so. He was hurt, sometimes, that I wouldn't let him explore. But there was good reason. Finally, the day that I had feared came. The stench, my pups, the stench you could not believe. A plethora of Hora Quan burst into the city! They infected every area. They tore and raged and howled! I snapped at anyone who came near the Kid. I stood in front of him, always. I snarled at the female Precursor and the Lurker and the short male Precursors who had watched him from time to time... we all formed a group and met together at the north end of the city. Jak was there, too. He shot many Metal Heads, and was left behind to destroy their nest. The rest of us boarded the Lurker's hideous contraption, and we floated up into the sky!"

"The sky!" said Milly.

"Yes! Higher than the birds fly! I crouched under the Kid's feet, I was so afraid. The edge of the world had come and gone and I thought the tall Precursors were indeed crazy."

"Then what?"

"We hovered for hours, waiting and waiting. The female Precursor tried to pass the time with us. She tried to pet me, but I was snappy and afraid of the height. The Kid was also scared. I curled up in his lap and tried to comfort him. The Lurker stood in the opposite corner, fumbling with the controls. At last, the female Precursor lowered us down. We were in the Metal Head nest! It was a vast cave, strange glowing plants and heavy air. All the Precursors talked together briefly, then the Kid touched a huge stone. A bright, bright creature jumped out. It looked just like the Precursors. It had a deep voice, and said many things, which I do not remember. Then it flew away, and all the Precursors were astonished. The Kid hopped onto the contraption. I went to follow him, but Jak held me back. The Shadow and the Kid disappeared into a shining ring!"

"Wow!" said Milly.

"I stayed with Jak for a while," Grandpa said slowly, "but Haven life never really appealed to me. I had finished my mission, protecting the Kid. One day, Jak and Daxter were near the Water Slums, and I barked a goodbye. They watched me dive in and swim away. I returned home. Everyone was very confused, because the Metal Heads had been defeated long before then. I told them the joys of being with the Precursors, and also the sorrows."

A Skidgy bit Gork's neck. "Argh!" he snapped his tail back and killed the insect. "Great story, Grandpa," he said.

"Yeah, thanks Grandpa!"

"You're welcome. Go to bed, now." Shnorky watched his grandpups swim off.

"You and your stories," said Maglar.

"They're all true, dear," he replied.

"Yes, yes they are." She dragged a bowl of muck-frosted twiggy fish over.

Shnorky bit one, grimaced, and swallowed. "They taste better than usual tonight."

"Thank you."


End file.
